On the last episode(s) of I Have A.D.D...
40 Days of Awesome description
Days 1-6
Days 7-14
Awesome Day #15: True Grit
Half the eyes, double the grit.
I thought this was a documentary about southern breakfast. Turns out I rented the wrong movie and meant to get True Grits. Still, it was pretty good, although not quite as badass as The Expendables. Speaking of which: The Expendables 2 trailer is out! I'll spare you my thoughts on it, because if I were to write a 5,000 word essay describing that trailer, it would just be "FUCK YEA" 2,500 times in a row.
Awesome Day #16: Sushi Tomi
I had an awesome picture of V-Dubs making a hilariously horrible face, but she demanded I not post it. So instead, now we're all awkwardly staring at the back of her head as she reads the sign from six inches away.
True story: in Spanish, "su" means his or her. So, if we break down this restaurant's name - "Sushi Tomi", or "Su shi to mi", it's basically saying "his shi to mi" - a rough Japanese translation of "his shit to me." In other words, you're allowed to just steal random food off of other people's tables, as long as you yell "HIS SHIT TO ME" when you do it. Just trust me that this is accurate and start doing it next time you go there.
Awesome Day #17: Cirque du Soleil: Immortal
The neon lights for the little boy on his knees came on moments later.
On Thursday, the very same day that we learned Google had been ranked the #1 place to work by Fortune for the 3rd time, Google bought 10,000 tickets to the Michael Jackson themed Cirque du Soleil show, and we all got to go to a free show. If that's not awesome enough to make it to 40 Days of Awesome, I don't know what is. (OK, fine, I'm exaggerating - I do know what still would be... and so should you, if you watched the trailer I linked to on day 15.)
The whole show was awesome, but the clear highlight was the guy with one leg. You know how sometimes you see a handicapped person do something, and you say "wow, that's pretty good, considering his or her massive handicap"? For example, you might see a girl throw a football 10 yards and say "wow, that's pretty good... for a girl." Well, this was NOTHING like that. This guy had one leg, and he could out-dance anyone I know. He was spinning around on crutches, making awesome leaps and landing balanced on his one leg, pulling off classic MJ moves... I'm pretty sure I actually saw him save a baby while doing a triple flip and simultaneously brokering peace in the Middle East at one point.
Awesome Day #18: Dinner at Scratch
this picture was SCRATCHED. Get it???? (If you're ignoring the pun and thinking "he forgot to take a picture, didn't he?", then yup, you got it.)
On Friday night, I did something I've wanted to do for months: I finally ordered salmon at Scratch. "What's so special about salmon?", you ask? "Shut the fuck up and stop interrupting, you impatient douche", I respond. We're getting there.
Every time I go to Scratch, I think about trying the Salmon. Then my eyes start wandering, and like a cheater in a nightclub, I just can't contain myself - I end up going for the skank in the black dress. And by "skank in the black dress", I mean "the ribs or the fried chicken." I know they're wrong... but they're just so damn GOOD. For those of you who live in the South Bay, please go try the fried chicken at Scratch if you haven't already. If we were ranking things by the SAT analogy system, Scratch:Fried Chicken::Street Fighter 2:Video Games. It might not quite be the Mario 3 of fried chicken, but it's pretty fucking awesome.
Anyway, I finally tried the salmon. It was also pretty damn tasty, although I'm not sure I'll be able to resist the lure of fried chicken and ribs next time I'm there. On the bright side, I did still manage to ruin any chance of the meal being healthy by having both bacon wrapped dates stuffed with chorizo and some pork belly as an appetizer, so that's nice. Or something. Let's move on.
Day 19: Boots & Wiener Schnitzel at Leopold's
We couldn't fit that much awesomeness in just one picture.
True story: up until fairly recently, I always thought wiener schnitzel was some sort of German sausage, and the only reason I can imagine that I'd think this is because of the wiener/sausage connection. Turns out that not only does wiener schnitzel look nothing like sausage (not that any of this stops a mature young man like myself from making "you've got some wiener in your mouth" jokes), but it's also damn tasty.
Anyway, Leopold's serves beer in 2L boots. For those of you who don't do metric - which I hope is most of you, as the only people who know metric are drug dealers, or, even worse, Europeans - 2L is about 68 ounces, or a little more than five and a half beers. I'm fairly certain that Paige paid off our waiter before I arrived, because he gave me a stern warning about cheersing with the boot before I had even picked it up, but we still managed to have an awesome time with it. Also, since we clearly needed more booze after consuming a boot, we immediately followed this up by a trip to Wreck Room, which was highlighted by someone panicking that they had lost their roommate while their roommate was clearly sitting at the bar no more than 15 feet away.
Day #20: Bagel from The Bagelry
This was the most pleasant picture we could get of me the next morning. Maybe Wreck Room wasn't such a great idea after all...
You know what's really awesome? When you drink a ton one night, then wake up the next morning feeling great and hangover-free. Or at least, I'd imagine that feels awesome. I certainly don't know from experience on Day 20, because I felt miserable that morning. After eating a delicious hungover bagel from my favorite bagel place in SF, I stuck around for a little football, then went home to watch the second game from my couch. (See Day #6 for a picture of what this looks like. Hint: it's exactly what you expect and not worth going back to look at.)
Day #21: Beer, Sharks, and Dinner at Tied House
Don't let the name mislead you - not all games watched there end in a tie.
Sadly, that doesn't mean I ate a Shark for dinner. Although, I guess it really wasn't that sad, because chicken fried steak is pretty delicious.
Day #22: Massage
After three full weeks of awesomeness, it was time for a different type of awesome: awesome relaxation. I got a massage after work (in our office - did I mention I love my company?), and it was glorious. You know what I love about massages? That moment where they tell you time's up, and you realize you have no idea if you fell asleep or not, followed by the moment when you realize that means it's 6:30 and the cafe downstairs just opened up for dinner, followed by the moment when you realize that you also have leftover Chinese in your fridge back home so you have multiple awesome choices for dinner, followed by the moment you finish eating and start writing this blog post, followed by the moment when you have no idea how to wrap up the blog post so you just keep writing a run-on sentence and hope people will give up and stop reading it before you have to write an actual ending, followed by thinking maybe you'll just write a string of swears and suddenly cut it off, followed by SHITFUCKASSBITCHWHOREBALLSDOUCHECRAPRUSTYTROMBONE
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