Bo Knows Blogging.

(imported from other blog, original post date: 9/5/07)

You know you live near Oakland when you hear MC Hammer on the radio and see a guy wearing a Bo Jackson jersey in the same car ride.

Actually, while I’m about 40 minutes from Oakland, I live just a few minutes down the street from a Casual Male XL store, which confused me for a while… the first few times I walked by it, I couldn’t decide if it was a clothing store that sold large sizes, or one of those penis enhancement places that you always see commercials for on ESPN on weekends.

I finally started my job this Tuesday, since Monday was Laborless Day. It’s not bad so far, but after spending almost two weeks with a schedule that basically consisted of “sleep in, wake up, swim in the pool until I get hungry, eat, wander around aimlessly in weather that’s guaranteed to be 90ish and sunny, repeat”, you could ask me to hold your empty soda can while you needed a free hand for 12 seconds, and it would seem like some hellishly unfair and difficult task. But on a more positive note, the Pacific Time Zone makes for some perfect after-work activities… tomorrow, I’ll be going straight from work to a sports bar, just on time for the 5:30 Pacific Time NFL Season Opener. In fact, rather than talking more about work, I think I’m going to use the next chunk of space for some random season-preview thoughts…

-Roethlisberger will bounce back from a poor season, now that he’s finally comfortable that Jerome Bettis is indeed far enough away that he won’t need to worry about Bettis seeing “berger” on his jersey and taking a bite out of his shoulder before the snap.

-Tony Romo will lead us all to a glorious event this winter, but whether it’s a Cowboys championship or a Carrie Underwood sex tape remains to be seen.

-The world will finally realize the irony of the fact that tiny Tiki Barber played for the Giants, but as he’s now retired, it will be too late.

-Millions of gamblers who took the over on the “Week Larry Johnson’s legs physically fall off: Week 9” will groan in unison as his left leg detaches from his body in week 7.

-Despite their names, the Saints vs. Cardinals matchup will not be a holy war.

-The Bengals will attempt to trade names with the Steelers, in order to have a name that more accurately reflects their team full of felons.

I recently set up my voicemail for my apartment. I had quite a few thoughts for what the message should say, but I figured I should leave it pretty standard, at least for the first few weeks here.Rejected voicemail ideas included having Gwen Stefani start singing “leave a message and I’ll call you back…” (but after both Gwen AND the random drunk dude at the karaoke bar both rejected my offer, I had to give up on that one), and “hi, we can’t come to the phone right now… if you’d leave your name, number, and time of day, we’ll get back to you as soon as we can. Thanks a lot for calling, bye”, just so Harrigan wouldn’t fly 3000 miles to come kick my ass for not doing it.

On my drive to Berkeley last week, I had to go over the DumbartonBridge. For those of you who have never had the pleasure of driving over it, allow me to share the only two facts you need to know about it. 1) It’s the weirdest “bridge” ever… it’s kinda half-bridge, half-road, half-pig. Call it Bridgeroadpig. It’s only sometimes over water, and usually more over just this ugly muddy stuff. 2) The Dumbarton Bridge smells like shit. That’s not an expression; the bridge literally smells like feces. Of course, based on fact #2 (#2… get it?), it should come as no surprise that the first sign I noticed after going over the bridge was “NEWARK: NEXT 4 EXITS.” Apparently, I can fly across the country, but I can’t get away from the shittiness that is Newark.

Manbearpig does not like the smell of bridgeroadpig.

Random side note to end this on: in the Federer-Roddick match that I’m watching as I type this, McEnroe just said “it seems like he’s putting out more than Federer is… can he keep this up for 5 sets if he has to?” Yes, it’s true… putting out makes you tired after a while. I believe it was the ancient philosopher Plato who said “Pimpin’ ain’t easy.”