Why write full paragraphs when I can write quick haiku blurbs instead?

This is my weekend

Written only in haikus

By Andrew Meyer

Finish work Friday

Hooray! Now the weekend starts

No work, only play

Give Steve a ride home

Go inside to have a drink

“A” turns into “five”

Margaritas, yum.

“Vicky how do you make these?”

“Pre-made mix, dumbass.”

Eddy speaks Russian

That damn dirty commie fuck

Da da da da da

On to PA bar

“NoLa?” I see no flashing.

We need more boobs. Fail.

Rest of night a blur

I don’t really remember

Let’s jump to next day.

Wake up Saturday

Why does the room spin so fast?

My head fucking hurts.

Cocoa pebbles, yum

Better than Harry Potter

Sorry, Madeleine.

You remember when

Puni claimed W was only

One syllable? Ha.

Back to Mercy House

Need to pick up my car there

Guess I’ll hop on bike.

Cali is awesome

Outside in January

And it’s 64!

Ravens-Titans game

They score less than Steve Carrell

When he played virgin.

C'mon guys... even I could have found a way to score more than three times all game.

Cardinals-Panthers game

This game isn’t even close

Hey Jake, that’s wrong team

Vietnamese food

Holy crap this menu’s huge

I feel overwhelmed

Mercy House again?

Sure, why not, let’s play some pong

Too full, bad idea.

Back at home, it’s late

Write haikus at 2 AM

Not sure why. Oh well

My dreams make no sense

Toy chair, blue tree, donkey light

Bag of Norways. Huh?

 

Sandwiches with Paige

Turkey sandwiches are great

NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM

Where’s Ed Hochuli?

This ref isn’t jacked at all

I am unimpressed

Five dollar footlong

I’m sick of your commercials

Please go away. Thanks

That was my weekend.

Hope you liked my poetry

Oh and don’t forget…

You look like a tool

When you have your collar popped

You are a douchebag.